Theres nothing I like more than a cup of good coffee (well there are other things, but I wont go into them here 
). Today I recieved my free bag of coffee that I mentioned here. Unfortunately, I havent opened it yet, as i still have another bag open, but as soon as I finish that one, it will be reviewed here. But it sure smells nice. Mmmmm I cant wait!
Yet another post where I find two celebrities that look vaguely similar. This time its the turn of moody antipodean rocker Nick Cave and some vicar bloke out of Emmerdale called Ethan.
I thought I'd have a look at the new B & Q DIY store thats opened recently in the Four Pools area (where the old Brooklyn place used to be) this morning. So in I went for a quick look round and was quite impressed with it. It's got loads more stuff than Focus (just down the road) and the garden centre there is excellent. The plants are of a better quality and also cheaper. As I didnt buy anything, I cant vouch for the pricing on the hardware etc in there, but they seem to have virtually everything one might need.
One thing I did notice in the garden centre was the price of bags of grit. I recently purchased a few bags of white grit for my garden from the garden centre at Evesham Country Park. It was round about a fiver a bag (possibly slightly more). At B & Q it is ?4.18. As I intend to buy some more, I know where I will be taking my custom in future!
Talking of which, on my way to the Country Park today, I was cut up by a dozy bird in a green Punto, almost clipping my wing :( When i got there, it took ages to find a space to park. After about 5 or 6 minutes driving round, I went in the area reserved for anglers and coaches. That place is best avoided on Bank holidays!
Since the revelation of Wayne Rooney's little misdemeanor with a prossy, the papers now seem to be trying to get as much mileage from this as possible. But there's the hypocrisy of it all. The Sun revealed that Wayne's fiancée, Colleen was ill with the stress of his alledged antics. So what does its Sunday sister paper, News of the World, do? Have an article titled Rooney at it for every week for 18 months with vice girls on its website.
I certainly dont condone Rooney's antics, but he's a young lad who's athletic and getting paid an obscene amount of money for kicking a ball around. With all that testosterone in his body and all that money, he must feel like he's in heaven. Its no wonder footballers go off the rails so much. Some earn as much as £50,000 a week! Thats more than most people earn in a year. You only have to look at Gazza to see what can go wrong
After writing a post about spam last night , I suddenly feel compelled to do another. This time though, its about my supanet account I've had for the last few years. Its a local rate payg account that I signed up for many moons ago and no longer use. However, the email is still functional, but its so clogged up with spam I cant use it any more. As you can see, it currently has 4071 unread messages. This will now be a monthly feature here, if I can be arsed, to see how many emails are on my old supanet account.
Interesting spammer names from this account so far include:
Snubs H. Damply (I like this one!)
Hunt nonagenarian
Jasper Grimes
Teamster B. Balking
For the first time in ages, I clicked on a popup ad. It was for the Condom Company, and their banner claimed to have johnnies avalable in 'all sizes'. So for a laugh, I decided to see what 'all sizes' actually meant. Rather surprisingly, they had nodders in small, going right up to the aptly-named King size, aka Yeah, right!
I suppose its less embarrasing buying small condoms over the net than it would be asking for them at the chemist! But I dont have that problem anyway
And whilst the tone here is suitably lowered, I was looking for websites about English slang. I found this. It reminded me of being back at school again, looking up rude words and sniggering!
What is the point of mayonaise? You cant buy a pack of ready made sarnies these days without seeing that word on the ingredients list. Why?? That stuff is bleedin' awful. It comes straight from the mighty testicles of Beelzebub himself. Something has happened in the last few years that has made sarnie makers use the bloody stuff instead of butter. OK, so butter may be high in fat. Use margerine instead. But dont inflict that sod awful stuff on folk like me who hate it! Leave it to fester in Satans sacs for eternity.
I guess its a European (*spits*) thing. I went to Holland a few years ago, and they love it on chips (fries for Americans) over there. But its optional, the same as salt and vinegar is over here. And thats fair enough. Its a dressing, not a spread. You put butter or marge on your sarnies and mayonaise on salads, chips etc. Lord Sandwich is probably turning in his grave right now at the thought of his sacred creation being polluted like that.
Bring back butter, thats what I say!
I was checking my email about half an hour ago, and found something that warmed the very cockles of my heart... A while back I exchanged links with a UK coffee selling site that sells organic fair trade coffees. I thought nothing of it at the time and put the link upon my links page. As my Google ranking aint bad, I get a bit cynical sometimes about trade sites that want to link, as I run this site strictly not for profit. Its a hobby basically. But this site was selling coffee (my favourite drink!) and being based in the UK and selling fair trade coffee, I was pretty biased really. So this email was a thank you for linking, basically. But not only that, the webmaster was offering me a free bag of coffee for the link exchange. So if you are reading this (you will know who you are) this post is a thank you and I look foreward to recieving my bag of coffee. Cheers!
About 10 mins ago, I was trawling through the spamorama that is my Yahoo account when I noticed in my bulk folder 4 emails from a name I recognised, each with an attatchment. I opened the mail to see that it was from my very own Hotmail account! I was spamming myself with dubious attatchments and not reallising it! OK, some nasty little wanker was spamming me and using my Hotmail account as the return address. The originating IP came from Poland.
I suppose with the amount of spam in the world right now, it had to happen that I would get some alledging to come from myself.
Still on the subject of spam, I decided to have a look at my old Boxfrog account (a spam haven if ever there was one - see the old blog here for details) and they had shut the site down. Ho-hum. I never used it anyway, but I do feel sorry for anyone who did.
In the previous blog I had on Black Coffee, I used to do an occasional look-a-like post. In a desparate attempt to revive this I have scraped together a picture of Frank Skinner and Gold winning 3 day eventer, Leslie Law. As you can see, there is more than just a similarity!
Picture the scene; a dark, dingy, smoke-filled pub, somewhere in deepest Worcestershire.
Groups of lads gather, high on a cocktail of booze and testosterone. All macho posturing, laughing, joking, drinking..
The girls meanwhile are crowded round, chatting girly chat, each one wanting to be the sexiest, the most glamourous; hoping that their skirt's the highest or their hipsters the lowest.....
The DJ playing the same tunes as he played the week previous, and the week previous to that....
A room cram packed with needy souls, fractured egos, and sad wannabees all drowning in a sea of booze...
Come 1.00, the bouncers herd them all round to the front of the pub, ask them to finish up, then herd them out onto the streets. Thrust out from the safety of their poison womb, they stagger home in different directions, stopping at the chippy or the kebab house for some food to soak up the booze...
I'm so glad I didnt go out tonight. I could have got in the pub for 11.00, after work if I had wanted to. Instead I'm here, sober. And I prefer it that way. I get so pissed off with drinking these days. I dont enjoy it any more. Its the same old scene; I played it out hundreds of times, the video tape becoming thinner and thinner till it snapped and could be played no more....
According to Sky News (above link for more details):
Well theres a bloody surprise! That sort of goes hand in hand with our 'binge drinking culture': In fact, I will go as far as to say the two are inextricably linked. We (the Brits) get hammered in the pub before the 11.00 'last orders', go back for a shag, either with a current partner or someone we've pulled on the night, and possibly stop for a donner kebab on the way back.Britons are amongst the most promiscuous people in the world, according to a new survey.
What is it about the British obsession with sex though? Its almost as though we feel if we dont have sex, or at least look sexy (in the female's case anyway) then we are a nobody. You only have to look at 'celebrities' like Jordan and Jodie Marsh (I'll use the word celebrity loosely.. slappers being more appropriate) who wear just enough to stop them getting arrested, and they're seen grinning in the gossip sections of the tabloids as if looking like that is something to be proud of!
I may be an old prude, but I dont find women like that attractive. In fact, its completely off putting. I wouldnt want to be seen out with a girl who would wear that little, for the simple reason that blokes would be ogling her all night. I just wouldn't want that. IMHO someone who stoops to that level, is a very needy and egotistical person.
And on the subject of clothes and sexuality, has anyone noticed how 90% of the girls these days are wearing 'hipster' jeans. Thats right, the low slung ones that look quite sexy on about 5% of girls. Sadly, a lot of girls dont realise that hipsters dont flatter their figure; Theres nothing worse than a larger lady wearing hipsters which reveal about 3 inches of arse cleavage. Couple this with a cropped top, out of which bulges their blubbersome belly, top it off with the customary Celtic tatoo on the lower back and your quite rapidly descending into chav culture.
The trend amongst blokes is also pretty worrying; they to like to wear their kecks low slung too, but this time exposing about 3 inches of underpants. I think its a skater thing, but I'm not sure. But I cant see how girls could find this attractive.
According to the Beeb:
Secondary schools are to receive guidance on how to teach children "standard" spoken English.If that means that kids will learn to write 'proper' English and use more correct grammer, then I think that is a good thing. OK, the net isnt the best example, but on so many forums you see crap like this:
IMHO, this is a terrible abuse of language, grammar etc. I will admit, I'm not the best speller in the world, and my grammar aint perfect, but I will at least try to make any posts on forums etc make sence. That example was taken off a forum; I wont say which one. But if you post crap like that, what sort of response do you expect?? There's an expression in computimg; GIGO (garbage in, garbage out). This says it all really.Do any of u like da rasmus i think there da best band in da world what do u think.
When I was a kid *taps walking stick lol* it seemed that youngsters wanted to speak and write properly. (OK, kids always abuse the language; its part of learning and growing). People blame the internet and text messaging. Text messaging, I can understand the use of abbreviations because you have a limited amount of words and a numeric keypad with which to type them. But when you have a full keyboard on your computer, is their really any need to use such abbreviations and Ali G'isms?
That sort of crap was on of the reasons I left the aforementioned forum; that, inanity and sanctmoniousness
An occasional award for a particularly good looking female in the public eye:
Anyone who lives in the Midlands and watches BBC Midlands evening news cant have failed to have noticed the lovely Suzanne Virdee who is one of the presenters. She's a very professional presenter, always dressing well and she's a bit of a babe too
Whilst searching the web for some pictures of her I found this site. A veritable Virdee-fest if ever there was one. Also contained on that site is a set of pictures of the equally lovely Shefali Oza, another Midlands Beeb-babe.
It seems I was a bit harsh on Tom Watson about his teens page in a previous entry. It turns out it was a spoof about how politicians try to 'get down' with 'the kids'. If you scroll down far enough on the page you will get his explaination and some of the emails he has recieved, several being from Americans; two of which proved irrefutably that they do understand irony and British humour across the pond.
Whilst we British are notorious for whinging about the weather (and lets face it, over the last few days we've had bloody good reason to), perhaps we ought to be grateful that we dont get it as bad as they have had in America with hurricane Charley. I watched some footage on the telly on Friday, I think, and it was so shocking that the weather could do so much damage. Roofs were being peeled off like the lid off a sardine tin. So next time theres a few spots of rain and you feel a whinge coming on, just think, it could be a lot lot worse.
As anyone who has read the blog on Black Coffee in the past will notice that things have changed slightly. The blog is now using Blogger as it makes it much easier to update than messing around with HTML in Notepad. It also gives me chance to concentrate on the writing rather than whether I mess the layout up whan adding pictures etc. And hopefully it will allow me to update more
The site is also not as direction orientated as it once was. I wanted it to be an information site; to have lists of free stuff and tutorials etc, which are on the site, but probably not that relavent any more. Now the site is going to be more humourous, in the direction of the web lookalike thing I have on the main site. In future, this blog will be linked to the front page.
Black Coffee has been going since about 2001 in its free webspace days and most of the content has been around since then. Its way out of date, but my l33t page has got a lot of hits and has been linked from forums etc. I still get good comments and emails asking for linkage. I *still* havent got around to writing that PHP guestbook
The couple of years have seen changes to my attitude towards the web. There are more free web providers now, but so many of them add popups and dodgy downloads; Tripod and angelfire both have ad-frames that severely bollocks up the layout of any sites on their servers. Coupled with that, there are banners and popups. Using a free host aint fun anymore 
I dont use the web as much as I used to any more; I dont use chat or IM any more. I dont visit as many forums as I used to. I've lost count of the amount of times a driveby download has almost happened to me, but I've stopped it because I have all but turned of ActiveX controls on IE. Spyware is more prevelant now. All the websites I used to visit are either dead or dying on their arse. All this may seem negative, but its not. I dont feel negative; This is a positive time for me and for Black Coffee. I dont care what people think of the site. Its whatever I want it to be; and it that means it changes every so often, then so be it. Progression is all about change, either in real life or on the web 
Doesnt this make you bloody sick?!? 
This little chav scrote gets £1,150 a month off the state to house him, his wife and 5(!) kids. He doesnt work but says he would if he found a job that paid him enough to look after his 5 kids (yeah..right).
Firstly, if I was in charge of this country, I would have the bollocks of these little tossers chopped off so they would not be able to father any more kids.
Secondly, I would take their benefits away and make them get work. No work = no money!
If they didnt want to get work, they would be confined to a life of poverty. That would be their problem. Britain (I dont call it Great any more for obvious reasons) is far too soft on spongers whether they be immigrants or home grown, yet the people who really do need help off the state dont get it, or have to fight very hard to get it.
It makes me wonder why I bother working to be honest. The way I feel about this country at the moment, if I had my time again, I wouldnt have bothered making the effort when I left school. Having been unemployed for very small periods when I was younger (due to redundancies) I hated it however, and couldnt bring myself to live like that.
Its Tony B-liar's fault. It was a bad omen when he came into power. The first thing he did was have a celebrity wank-fest at number 10. Stuff the working people of this country, he was more interested in being seen with celebrities.
But I wouldnt want the opposition either. They have proved themselves to be incompetent in the past. The whole government situation reminds me of the lyrics of a Steelers Wheel song: "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right....."
Ever get the feeling you've been cheated....?
Whats all this then? White powder and milky fluids all over my kitchen work surface? It this some sort of sordid debauchery involving Abi "Tits out" Titmuss and John "I used to be famous" Leslie? Thankfully, No! Its just me making a complete mess of opening a tin of soya based protein, then making even more mess by adding soya milk to it, in an attempt to accelerate my progress at the gym.
Directions: (Shake the can before each use) For adults, blend one (1) scoop of the protien powder with low fat milk, fruit or vegetable juice.
What they didnt bargain on was me being a complete spaz and not taking the scoop out before shaking. Thus the scoop ended up at the bottom of the tin and I created the afore-mentioned mess trying to get it out.
As you may know, Lou Reed's satellite of love has been re-released. As someone who has never heard it before, I listened to it on the radio and heard what I thought to be the following lyrics:
Satellite’s gone
Way up to mars
Soon it will be filled
With Haagen Dazs
I mean what on earth would it be doing filled up with posh ice cream? I looked up the lyrics and it was as follows:
Satellite’s gone
Way up to mars
Soon it will be filled
With parking cars
Which is still bloody stupid if you ask me
I was looking at Tom Watson's site (Labour MP for West Bromwich) and happened to look at his 'teens' page where he tries to appeal to young people by sounding something like Ali G whilst being incredibly patronising in the process. By using what he assumes to be a teenagers way of speaking/typing (thankfully with out going into the realms of txt spk) he attempts to get them involved in politics, at the same time as sounding like a complete prick.
He does however have the words 'l33t Hax0r' on the page (OMG!!!11111) and I'm not sure weather to be impressed or not (sarcasm alert) but I'll err on the side of caution and not be impressed . It actually surprises me that a politician has heard of l33t, as most of them havent got a clue about what goes on outside their own fat arse. (He'll never get people emailing him questions about l33t like I do! ) All in all, I think its good that as a politician, he has a blog but please, please, please Tom, stop being so patronising.
This site was the victim of the ultimate form of flattery a while back - some thieving little bar steward ripped off my leet page and classed it as his own. I got his site shut down though lol
Black Coffee pwnz j00 l4m3r!.
BTW isnt Rachel Stevens a babe?